There's something about this song that makes me happy. It has perspective. It makes you think. It's funny. It reminds you to be HAPPY about being alive. It's just all 'round awesome, really.

----
Galaxy Song by Monty Python
Whenever life gets you down Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite enough...

Just, remember that you standing on a planet that’s evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour
It’s orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it’s reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our power

The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way

Our galaxy itself, contains a hundred billion stars
It’s a hundred thousand light years side-to-side
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick
But out by us it just three thousand light years wide

We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point
We go round every two hundred million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions in this amazing and
expanding universe

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is
So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space
Cause there’s bugger-all down here on Earth

---


First off: so much LOL at the ending.

secondly:
So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
So very true and something we could all stand to remember more often, I think!

So basically.
I have PCOS.
And while I've always known it's been something wrong with me, I've never been told: "Look, you have a disease. It'll never be cured, but the symptoms can be redused. And I should tell you; It also has a high infertility rate."

I just feel so weird. Almost like this body doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the damn disease. I just feel like a walking PCOS.

And I dunno...
I just feel so incredibly alone right now.

It was pretty scary going back; sitting on the train not knowing what will happen. I have an all new subject this year cause I'm doing my minor courses these two semesters, which means goodbye English classes with awesome, funny lecturers that I love and hello Religion studies. I know absolutely nothing about who my lecturers will be, or how the lectures will preceed. Simply cause English was a huge course, in the largest auditoriums, but this is a much smaller class and probably based more upon discussion.

Also, I moved into that all new place. And while I've seen the room and all, so that doesn't scare me, I hadn't met the people I share with and I'm not used to the routines, etc.

Some things are the same though. My friends from uni are still the same as I left them, and God bless them for that. It's the same city and the same streets I've been walking for a year, and it definitely feels familiar and safe, in a way.

But what is worse than the igorance and worry on the train is the feeling I have now. I've meet three of the people I share with and they were really nice. At least two of them were super nice, the third one sort of reminded me of my ex, and it unnerved me slightly, but I'm sure he's really nice too. The other guy was super cute and charming, but he was obviously in a commited relationship. Go figure.

BUT my point was! Even though they were nice and all, the prospect of sharing a kitchen with them kind of frightens me. I don't particularly like having people know what I eat, for some reason, and I'm scared of fucking up or being an annoyance factor. It worries me that I might be too slacky and they will all go around hating my guts.

And oddly enough, this doesn't feel like home. The other place, which I've now moved out of, feels more like home. I don't know why. Seriously, I have no clue why. I just feel a bit like a 'caged bird' here right now, and I'm sure it'll change, but it's sort of uncomfortable anyway. I hope I end up befriending these people and feel more comfortable being myself around them, you know? Right now I just feel like I can't do anything, and I'm afraid of being in the way.

My 'excuse me for exisiting' issue is catching up with me :(

I hate how people get a life. You know those people you speak to every day online; That you share everything with, laugh over anything with, feel so comfortable around it's almost a bit scary? You just always expect them to be there for you, to be online as they used to be.

It's not that they stop caring, it's just that they get a life. They get jobs or time-consuming studies or a significant other or a new, interesting hobby. And you're happy for them, you know. You know they deserve it more than anything.

But you still miss them. That you can't see their faces doesn't mean they're not friends. You confide in them, laugh with them, give them advice, ask them for advice in turn. If a person's been something like that for you for years, it doesn't matter that you haven't met them face to face. It's still a loss when they gradually disappear from your life.